faxmachineanthems

Craig Ferguson 12/15/9E Late Late Show Dracula Jason Segal &...

Fri, 18 Dec 2009 01:02:43 +0000

Craig Ferguson 12/15/9E Late Late Show Dracula

Jason Segal & Nathan Danforth performing Dracula’s Lament from Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Fucking brilliant!

I literally trained myself not to do this!

Tue, 15 Dec 2009 12:03:56 +0000

I literally trained myself not to do this!

Creative bus stop advertisements | Creative Criminals

Tue, 08 Dec 2009 01:15:06 +0000

Creative bus stop advertisements | Creative Criminals

When Bad Covers Happen to Good Books - NYTimes.com

Sun, 06 Dec 2009 01:23:38 +0000

When Bad Covers Happen to Good Books - NYTimes.com

The 100 Most Iconic Internet Videos [Full List] - Urlesque

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 12:20:00 +0000

The 100 Most Iconic Internet Videos [Full List] - Urlesque

The Sad Nature of Adaptation, or Why the Media Sucks - Too Shy to Stop

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:56:03 +0000

The Sad Nature of Adaptation, or Why the Media Sucks - Too Shy to Stop

I’m part self-actualised, part jet-setter, and just a...

Sat, 05 Dec 2009 01:42:30 +0000

I’m part self-actualised, part jet-setter, and just a little bit overprepared.

tinyaerialacrobat: The bookshelf-staircase: London-based...

Thu, 03 Dec 2009 02:27:08 +0000

tinyaerialacrobat:

The bookshelf-staircase: London-based Levitate Architects came up with this ingenious solution to a book storage problem and created a loft-like bedroom nestled under the roof of the top-floor apartment.

This is my dream. I’m not even exaggerating, I mean I’m in the library and I gasped out loud and one person looked at me because this is my dream. When I have my own place, I will have this built into my swanky loft, and you can hold me to this, Tumblr.

Sweet jesus.

"Make a radical change in your lifestyle & begin to boldly do things which you may previously..."

Mon, 30 Nov 2009 21:54:09 +0000

“Make a radical change in your lifestyle & begin to boldly do things which you may previously never have thought of doing, or been too hesitant to attempt. So many people live within unhappy circumstances & yet will not take the initiative to change their situation because they are conditioned to a life of security, conformity, & conservation, all of which may appear to give one peace of mind, but in reality nothing is more damaging to the adventurous spirit within a man than a secure future. The very basic core of a man’s living spirit is his passion for adventure. The joy of life comes from our encounters with new experiences, & hence there is no greater joy than to have an endlessly changing horizon, for each day to have a new & different sun. If you want to get more out of life, you must lose your inclination for monotonous security & adopt a helter-skelter style of life that will at first appear to you to be crazy. But once you become accustomed to such a life you will see its full meaning & its incredible beauty.”

- Jon Krakauer

San Francisco Trolley Dash Cam Footage - 1909 (1st Person...

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 11:47:24 +0000

San Francisco Trolley Dash Cam Footage - 1909 (1st Person Perspective)

Seeing people in town with these makes me feel Christmassy.

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 11:38:03 +0000

Seeing people in town with these makes me feel Christmassy.

(via NZ Book Council)

Sat, 28 Nov 2009 11:34:04 +0000

(via NZ Book Council)

BEST.

Thu, 26 Nov 2009 19:28:12 +0000

BEST.

50 Practical Tips to Save You Half a Lifetime

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 14:30:12 +0000

Dear Sir. Dear Madam. Dear me.

As a lamentation rather than a greeting, “dear me” occurred as I flicked through a clever book (proceeds to the Elton John Aids Foundation) recommended by my colleague Libby Purves. “Dear Me — a letter to my sixteen-year-old self” is an anthology of letters to themselves from a range of famous people. Some are moving, some self-pitying, some funny, many patronising, and a few verbose. All are intriguing.

But most suffer from the same defect. They are not informative. Brimming with agony-auntish counselling on the meaning of life, love, tragedy, ambition, sex or friendship, these missives are typical of the sort of advice teenagers actually do receive all the time from well-meaning adults — and much to their exasperation. When I was a youth I didn’t need an earnest disquisition on the nature of homosexuality: I needed advice on spots, a short course in shaving, a warning off cheap deodorants and the name and address of the nearest gay bar.

I have taken years — often decades — to acquire practical knowledge that, if only someone had told me earlier, could have saved half a lifetime of inconvenience, frustration and wasted time. The wisdom that, in The Graduate, the young Benjamin (Dustin Hoffman) received from his father’s friend — that he should go into plastics — deserves better consideration than a whole volume of beatitudes.

So I’ve been composing the letter from my 60-year-old self that would have been of some real use at 16: things I wish I’d known earlier. “Dear Me …

“… Socks: buy ten pairs of black cotton socks and ten woollen; and stick to black for the rest of your life, saving hundreds of hours trying to match odd socks.

Knots: these tend to tighten under tension: compression can loosen them; so to unpick, push rather than pull apart, first stiffening up the cord by twisting with (not counter to) the cord’s existing twist.

Shaving: except when the stubble is very heavy, shave against rather than with the lie of the beard.

Port can cause a ghastly hangover. Charged by a bullock, lunge: he’ll back off. But not a bull. Learn to distinguish. Bullocks have no balls.

A good-looking man always knows this; there are no shy, modest Adonises, waiting to be discovered by you. Few people are genuinely unaware of any great talent they possess. Bloodstains can be removed by pouring boiling water through (not over) the cloth. Candle wax really can be ironed out of clothes or rugs by ironing between sheets of newspaper.

Generally speaking, a worm won’t turn, or he already would have. Proceed on the working assumption that most people will carry on behaving as they’ve always behaved so far. Never fly to anywhere outside America via Miami.

There’s usually a reason why friendless people lack friends. Non-ferrous metals don’t trigger most security scanners, so don’t bother to empty your pockets of change. Never kid yourself you can make something of somebody; instead, find someone who’s making something of themselves, and help them, otherwise years can be expended trying to push the human equivalent of a wet end of spaghetti up a wall. If milk’s even a bit off, it’s off. Wasps really don’t sting unless attacked. Coffee grounds get everywhere.

Be brutal about wedding invitations: there are only so many Saturdays in your life. Squeezing spots really does aggravate the inflammation. All occasions on which women wear hats are utterly pointless. If you think you might be about to be sick, you are about to be sick: run to the loo. If you feel you might be about to faint, you will unless you drop to the floor immediately. Nothing in politics is more than 85 per cent certain.

Resolve now — now — never to iron a shirt in your life: make this your starting-point, your irreducible core, and find another way. Sick animals are almost always going to die. A struggling shrub or tree is usually beyond help. Mildew and fungal blights are impossible to eradicate. Violently boiling water isn’t any hotter than gently boiling water. Don’t think people aren’t going to notice dirty fingernails.

You can eradicate nettles but there’s no point attacking ground-elder. Rubbing nettle stings really does make them worse. People who say their first impressions are always right are people too pig-headed to revise them; first impressions can be wholly wrong. Never underestimate the pleasure that can be given by cancelling a party: busy friends love an unexpected diary window.

Sex: don’t overlook the possibility that the other person is waiting for you to make the first move; and remember that no male, however indifferent to your charms, is actually offended by a pass being made at him, though he may be a little startled.

If practicable, carry heavy bags, cases or furniture on your head: much less strain.

If the first nail won’t hammer into a wall, the second won’t either. Never accuse someone of stealing unless you’re absolutely sure. Never return a gift. Never rescind an invitation. Never think that someone who might have expected to be included won’t notice they haven’t been. Buy wide-toed shoes, a size too big, go shoe-less whenever possible, and you’ll still have perfect feet at 60. Wash your hair with water and ban shampoo: this really works. Whenever contemplating taking out insurance, don’t — but deposit the amount of the premium in an earmarked savings account. You’ll almost certainly end up miles ahead.

When things stop working the natural human assumption that there’s a particular cause is frequently mistaken: often there are multiple causes in malign combination. Friends won’t volunteer criticism: you have to ask. Patent car-radiator-sealing fluids rarely solve the problem. You can walk away from bores: they’re used to this and develop thick skins.

When tossing and turning in an irrational half-awake state of insomnia, wake yourself up properly, switch on the light, get up and strip and remake your bed, then go back to bed.

When cocking up a task, “stop; abort; start again” is usually better than trying to rectify. If you’re standing up to read newspapers you’re getting long-sighted: reading glasses can be obtained for £2; buy ten.

If, at a moment when any reasonable person would expect you to lose your cool completely, you instead don’t, and stay calm and collected, nobody present will ever forget this about you. In plumbing or siphoning, air-locks are often the problem, and run counter to the laws of physics.

By acting bravely we become brave; not the other way round. Never melt wax in a saucepan you hope to use again.

50 practical tips to save you half a lifetime | Matthew Parris - Times Online

50 craziest celebrity baby names - Times Online

Sun, 22 Nov 2009 13:34:55 +0000

50 craziest celebrity baby names - Times Online

whatitsliketodie: jenjenjenesis: so today we’re going to mount vernon :) Vernon should enjoy...

Fri, 20 Nov 2009 20:57:47 +0000

whatitsliketodie:

jenjenjenesis:

so today we’re going to mount vernon :)

Vernon should enjoy that!

hahahaha <3

Photo

Wed, 18 Nov 2009 00:08:37 +0000

seriouslythough: Why I Find it Annoying to Live off a...

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 17:06:30 +0000

seriouslythough:

Why I Find it Annoying to Live off a Roundabout (as illustrated by my masterful Paint drawing):

1. The streets off my roundabout are not oriented in a north-south-east-west fashion. There are also no street signs because…I have no idea why the city has not put up signs. This makes it difficult to give people directions to my house.

2. People in Southern California apparently HAVE NO IDEA HOW TO DRIVE A ROUNDABOUT. Everyone seems to think it works like a four-way stop, where the car on the right goes first. This is a indication of their stupidity. A roundabout is clearly a yield situation. The person to your left entering the roundabout has the right-of-way. Oh, and there are even yield signs at all four entrances. I’m going to just start laying on the horn in the hopes of education everyone who drives it with me. I don’t see how it can fail.

lol, this sucks for you but is brilliant. Where my bf lives in central California there’s a roundabout at a shopping area and people are equally confused. Think of the reduction in gas consumption if America had less 4-way stops and more roundabouts!

Travel

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 16:53:52 +0000

Odd, but I like that airport smell of stale coffee and cinnamon buns and alcohol breath and new luggage.

I like when people eye other people’s tickets while standing in line at airport gates, looking at seat assignments like they’re sneaking a peek at their new assigned partner for a junior high science project.

I like the way everyone’s heads simultaneously sway and dip in turbulence like we are all riders on the same big horse. We are all riding the same big horse and some of us are carrying hot coffee.

I like watching people dealing well, or not so well, with the lack of personal space. My elbow is touching your jacket. Your foot is kind of on my bag. There’s nowhere else to go but slightly on eachother. It’s awkward at first, but after an hour or so we’re more comfortable with overlapping than we were with some people we’ve dated. I mean, you’re spending hours with your faces at pre-kissing distance and then you’re sleeping next to eachother and waking up yawny and seeing eachother first thing.

Sometimes I’ll be in a crowd and I’ll see someone who feels so familiar, but I don’t know them at all. I wonder if maybe they are someone I sat next to on an airplane once. We look at eachother comfortably, not like strangers, but we don’t say hello.

Brigitte Dale » Travel

"Cherish your solitude. Take trians by yourself to places you have never been. Learn how to drive a..."

Tue, 17 Nov 2009 15:07:10 +0000

“Cherish your solitude. Take trians by yourself to places you have never been. Learn how to drive a stick shift. Go so far away that you stop being afraid of not coming back. Say no when you don’t want to do something. Say yes if your instincts are strong, even if everyone around you disagrees. Decide whether you want to be liked or admired. Decide if fitting in is more important than finding what you’re doing here.”

- Eve Ensler